


Intimacy

by I_Otaku



Series: Amnesty [5]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Family Bonding, Gen, because i dont want amnesty to end and im very attached, extreme domesticity, like pepperings of dnager and angst but it is so overwhelmingly fluff yall, like straight up nothing seriously bad will happen in here, this is a safe and happy place that will be filled with amnesty family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-08-13 15:50:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20176840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Otaku/pseuds/I_Otaku
Summary: Noun1. Close familiarity or friendship; closeness.2. A private cozy atmosphere.There are many different kinds of intimacy, the word doesn't have to be romantic after all. A few moments in the family life of Amnesty Lodge throughout the years. (No long overarching plot, and follow up to Kinda Crunchy Lookin')





	1. Comfort After Physical Injury

It wasn’t supposed to have been a terrible abomination, Barclay left Dani in charge and he even left cooking _ instructions _. Not a precooked meal, not money for take-out. He knew he’d be back soon enough to help cook or clean when it came down to it. But Dani and Jake cooked up their boiled veggies and pasta with red sauce. They curled up on the couch (with Moira sat at her piano bench) and ate their dinners. They made warm drinks and wheeled out the TV cart to watch that nights episode of jeopardy. It wasn’t a usual episode, and it wasn’t a usual night without the two elders. It felt wrong. The two of them were the fighters, yeah, but they also gave warning. They gave times and plans and warnings and heads up when they would be gone overnight or what they were facing. 

Dani turned off the TV after the second rerun, Moira already retired and Jake chewing idly on his thumb. He was looking at the TV same as Dani, but he had the same frown of uncertainty. 

“They- they said they’d be back early. It wasn’t a- a-” He waved his hands idly, shaking them around his head. 

“I’m sure everything is fine.” Dani said back. “It sucks right now but I’m sure they’re fine.” Maybe if she said it she would believe it. 

“Terrible liar Dani banani.” Jake mumbled, pulling his goggles off his head and pulling the strap to snap against the plastic.

“Not a liar Jake, they’ve been doing this for years. Here, you wheel the cart back and I’ll make some of those mug cakes.”

“Sold.” Jake pulled his goggles back down on his head, blond bangs covering most of his face. He rolled, pushing himself up and off the couch as Dani stood, cracking her back. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail although she wouldn’t really be cooking per se. Barclay just always said nobody liked hair in their food, and he would know for how long he’s been cooking. (Jake would always ask why he was a cook then, being a giant hairy bigfoot and Barclay would thwap him in the arm with a plastic spatula and Jake would yelp in fake pain-) Dani blinked, hand on the door leading to the kitchen. Right. 

She walked in, sighing as she looked over at the small pile of dishes in the sink. Better clean those up before Barclay and Mama got back. Why was she getting so sentimental anyway, they’d be back. They probably just got caught up or had to call it a night and camp out in the woods, they’d had to do it before. Why was she so anxious about this one? Everything was normal leading up to it, everything will be normal when they get back- she grabbed the little cardboard box of mixes and then their two mugs (a mug Dani DIY-ed with sharpies with a small flower garden and a matching mug Jake decorated with bright zig zags matching his lucky winter coat). Pouring in the mixes, pouring in the milk from the fridge, stirring- Dani hummed to herself as she went through the steps and placed both mugs in the microwave. 

There was a thud from the front half of the lodge, Dani assumed it was Jake flopping dramatically onto the couch and she smiles. 

“Hey, if you’re going to be so dramatic I’ll just have to eat your dessert myself.” Dani called through the open counter, grabbing a dish towel and flinging it onto her shoulder like Barclay did. 

“Dani- we need help. Get the kit in there.” Mama yelled back, before there was another thud. And despite the fear boiling under her skin Dani all but dove under the sink, hands shaking as she snagged the kit and tore off to the main room. There was someone on the couch, but it was Barclay and not Jake. And if anything, he deserved to be dramatic. 

Mama looked up quickly, waving Dani over. Her hands shook as she took the kit, Dani watched and catalogued. Mama wasn’t great off, (Dani had seen her survive worse-) but she was shaken. She had a look that never suited the woman in the years Dani had lived here. She looked afraid. Her eyes were blown wide, a vicious slash across her temple dripping blood down the side of her face- she dropped more than a few tools as she shuffled through the kit. It wasn’t right- it scared Dani too.

And before long Dani swallowed and willed her gaze to Barclay. He was much worse off, if his stillness and silence were any indicator (they were, Barclay never liked to worry anyone). His arm was nestled up close to his chest and tied there, his skin looking like it was more torn fabric bandage than flesh. His face was pained and flushed an angry red, legs limp as they hung off the couch. 

“What’s going on?” Jake asked, rushing into the mainroom next. “Oh god-”

“Mama- Mama let me do this.” Dani dropped to her knees, “You need to get patched up too.” She reached out slowly, Mama’s fear starting to chip away. She handed over the gauze without an argument, falling back from the balls of her feet to sit on the lodge floor. She tracked dirt and grime all along the wood floor but nobody really cared. Dani took the gauze and grabbed a wet wipe and disinfectant from the kit, quick to start brushing the twigs and leaves from Barclay’s loose hair, his torn shirt. She worked as quick as she could, distracted just slightly as Jake tended to Mama from the now shared kit.

“What happened?” Jake’s voice shook, but both women let it be.

“Wasn’t just one.” Mama said quietly. Then a thought interrupted by a sharp intake of breath “Ambushed. Got- Fuck Jake-”

“Sorry- sorry.” He mumbled in return. Dani listened as she wiped down the dirt from Barclay’s face next, covering his skin in band-aids and butterfly sutures. She fiddled with his hair getting it out of some of the makeshift bandages, she cut away at bits of his shirt to get to his wounds and clean them. As she did, Barclay began to come back to them. 

“Got surrounded, one tried to break my gun- Barclay went all out and took most of the damage.” Mama finished. 

“Did you kill them?” Dani spoke, pressing down on a gash in Barclay’s stomach, the man wincing beneath her hands. “Sorry, but you’ll thank me later.”

“Yeah- surprised we’re not fuckin’ soaked in blood.” Mama said, Dani turning just briefly at her movement as she took off her duster. Her button up was ragged, but not stained and Jake took one of her wrists to inspect her. “I’m _ fine- _” Her thick West Virginian accent came out at that, and Barclay blinked his eyes open in some form of lucidity. 

“Hey, hey.” Dani moved up towards his head and smiled. “Good morning sleeping beauty, what hurts the most?”

He mumbled something and Dani leaned down. 

“Mama… hit ‘er head.” He mumbled. 

“Shut up Barclay, I’m fine. He’s not lucid, he don’t know what he’s sayin’.” Mama spat back and Barclay shook his head. 

“Will the two of you just be taken care of for five fuckin’ minutes-” Dani snapped.

“Really!” Jake finished, nearly in Mama’s lap as he stared into her eyes, looking for signs of a concussion. He fiddled with the bandage wrapping her head and she sighed, leaning down to let him.

“Alright, Jake’s taking care of her. Talk to me about you big guy.”

“Think m’ arm’s broken.” He mumbled. 

“Do you need me to set it?”

“Y’know how?”

“Not very well but I can do it if you need it to move before we can get you to Saint Francis.” Dani continued checking him over, she left his torn pants and boots, the stains weren’t from him and the more he spoke to more exhausted he sounded. 

“It’ll be fine for the night.”

“Alright, I’m gonna get some water- we don’t have leftovers but-” She took off after that thought, grabbing two glasses and filling them under the sink faucet before rushing back to the main room. “Mama- drink. Barclay, think you can sit up?”

Mama took her cup and Barclay nodded. He pushed up with his good arm, Dani could nearly hear the stretch of his muscle, the grinding of his bones at the movement. When he was upright as he could get Dani stuffed pillows behind him and set the cup on the floor in surprise.

“Shit- your arm-” 

“Kinda broken.” He laughed weakly, before it turned to a hiss. 

“Shut up you.” Dani replied, taking the kit scissors and cutting through Barclay’s shirt at what was supposed to be the good shoulder. She followed the seam down and winced, seeing his arm hair splattered with blood. His, this time. Trailing down the outside of his forearm from the middle of his bicep almost down to his wrist was a trail of torn flesh like he'd been bitten and tried to tear himself away. “Good and bad news. Bad news, you’re going to functionally armless.” She spoke, turning the extremity slowly and starting to wipe it down with disinfectant. 

Barclay nearly whimpered at the sting, his arm twitching in Dani’s grip and his voice weaker than Dani had heard in years. “Good?”

“If I can keep it clean it should leave one hell of a scar.”

“Great.” Barclay leaned back against the pillows, hair still littered with dirt and eyes slowly falling shut. 

“Alright- this is gonna hurt.”

Patched up and both in the lodge again, Dani felt at least a little bit safer. Her worry was justified, but Barclay and Mama both conceded to care without much of an issue. 

“Either of you need anything?” Dani spoke, pulling her hair out of her ponytail. 

Barclay, who took seven tylenol a good while ago mumbled something and shook his head, and Mama who had taken to sitting on the floor, her back leaning against the cushion holding Barclay’s torso repeated the gesture. 

“Alright. I’ll drive you two to Saint Francis in the morning then. Get some rest.”

“Wait- shouldn’t they sleep in beds?” Jake spoke, leaving the kitchen with two mugs in his hands. 

“Wouldn’t do them any good, think they need this.” Dani watched him and paused, remembering what the mugs were for. Jake handed Dani’s mug down to Mama and nestled his own on Barclay’s lap. Mama snorted and reached up, taking the cup down to her lap instead. 

"Gave him water, not gonna hand feed him some fancy dessert." Mama said, digging into Dani's mug. She shoveled mini cake into her mouth like she hadn't eaten in days, and Dani could only smile. 

"Here," She grabbed the arm of Jake's hoodie as he stood with his hands shoved in his pockets, "Keep an eye on them. Get comfy." She took off back down the hallway to the utility closet and wheeled the cart out, the static had barely enough time to die down from earlier. She shouldered it down the hall toward the fireplace, and ran the cable back to the wall. 

"Missed the new one." Mama mumbled into Jake's mug, the boy himself taking the empty mug from the floor and running it to the kitchen. "Hey while you're in there-" 

"Can't hear you! I don't know how to do dishes!" Jake interrupted. 

"Yes you can, and yes you do."

"Nooooo!" Jake yelled back.

"I'll do 'em." 

"Shut up you, you're not gonna be doing dishes anytime soon." And despite her words, Mama leaned back further against the couch, one arm reaching up to take a handful of Barclay's shredded shirt. Barclay hummed, half of a deep inhuman rumble that made his wrapped up arms bounce weakly on his torso.

And although Mama and Barclay were both half lucid at best, the lodge felt a little less empty. Dani curled up on the loveseat perpendicular to the couch and Jake nestled right besides Mama. The TV was on, everyone would be okay eventually, Mama and Brclay were alive.

"This great leader, child of Pepin the Short was King of the Franks from seven sixty eight to eight fourteen AD, and founded the Holy Roman Empire." Alex Trebek asked. The contestant buzzed in but Jake threw an arm into the air.

"Chuck!"

"Charles." Dani said, just as Lorelei, the middle aged teacher from Connecticut answered. 

"Who was Charlemagne the Great?" 

"What in the hell are you two on about." Mama laughed, looking down at her lap as the small TV buzzed with applause.


	2. Doing Laundry Together

Barclay stood in front of the dryer, arms crossed and brow furrowed. 

“Something the matter Barclay?” Agent Stern spoke, walking through the laundry room doorway. His voice once cold and harsh was soft with curiosity. He sauntered in dressed down, button up rumpled and tie slung over one shoulder.

“Ah, morning Agent.” Barclay hummed, looking up and rubbing his hands down his beard. “No, someone’s just left their clothes in the dryer is all.” 

“Surely you must be able to tell whose it is?” Stern spoke, rolling up his sleeves.

“I don’t wanna go through their laundry,” Barclay looked up, eyes catching on Stern’s relaxed pose for a few moments longer than strictly necessary. “Privacy issue and all that. I’ve also seen too many pairs of underwear belonging to people I have to make eye contact with.” Barclay laughed, Stern snorting one of his own. 

“Fair point. Does someone have things in the washer as well?”

“Yeah- me.” Barclay looked back down at the dryer, and Stern chuckled again. 

“Again, fair point. So you’re stuck until this person gathers their laundry?”

“I guess, I just want my flannels done before I have to walk around shirtless.” Barclay mumbled, expecting some kind of laugh or jeer. He blinked though, because Stern was silent.

“Ah, yes that would be uncomfortable for you.” He said hurriedly. “How about I ask around?” Stern smiled.

“Don’t wanna get you in trouble agent.” Barclay laughed, fiddling with his beard again. 

“Of all the people who live here, I think I’m the least popular. Can’t get in anymore trouble.”

“Alright, well I can’t tell whose it is since our machines don’t got them glass fronts. You really willing to walk through the whole lodge knockin’ on doors?”

“I’ve been chasing dead ends for weeks, least I could do is something actually useful. Oh, and Barclay?” Stern spoke, walking for the door back out of the laundry room.

“Yeah?”

“Joseph.” He said quickly. “Be back soon.” 

Barclay nodded, eyes wide and hands pushing his beard up into his face. Oh great. Of course. 

Barclay was sat on the floor of the laundry room his back leaning against the washer, some mindless repetitive tune tumbling from his lips. A quick set of footsteps roused his attention and Dani came rushing through, hamper on her hip. 

“Sorry sorry sorry!” She yelled, popping the dryer lid and nearly throwing herself into the top loader. Barclay pulled himself to his feet and grabbed her by the middle before she slammed herself into the raised lid, and both laughed breathlessly. 

“Did you run here?”

“I uh- I was doing something so the quicker I get this done-”

“She was  _ very _ busy.” Agent Stern interrupted, leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed. He looked relaxed, which was still surprising, but he seemed more human than threatening. “Glad she wiped most of the lipstick off.” He said, making Dani smack a hand against her cheek.

“ _ Most _ ?!”

“Stern don’t make my shirts get moldy just cause you wanna bully her.” Barclay laughed, setting Dani back down and helping her shovel clean clothes into her basket. 

“Alright that’s everything gotta go-” Her words ran together and Barclay checked the dryer again, fishing out one of her socks. 

“ _ That’s _ everything- tell Aubrey I’ll kick her ass if she does anything gross!” Barclay yelled (louder than he needed to be) chucking the sock through the air to land in Dani’s basket as she dove out of the room. 

“ _ You’re not my dad _ !” She yelled down the hall. Stern took it all in stride, wiping his smile from his face. 

“Excellent aim.”

“Lotta time to sit around and practice my waste bin three pointers.” Barclay smiled, popping the washing machine open. Sweet, not moldy or smelly yet. Just uncomfortably heavy and damp. He started pulling shirts out one by one to be safe. 

“Do you spend all of your time here?”

“Yeah, I hike sometimes and I like watchin’ paranormal shows and stuff- but I don’t like getting out too much.”

“Hm.” Stern hummed. “To each their own. Ah, I’ll be right back.” And Stern disappeared back into the hallway, Barclay taking the moment to grab the remaining ten or so shirts in a fist and lift them to the dryer. 

When Stern returned, he had his own hamper now and he set it on the floor, standing in front of the washer and beside Barclay.

“If it’s open now,” He said, glancing up at Barclay. The man nodded, and looked back to the wall of detergent and dryer sheets, wondering how long he could look for them to spend time in here. 

“Yeah, makes sense. Glad you’re not one’a those people that expects me to do it for ‘em.” He replied.

“Rude,” Stern mumbled, “You already do more than enough. Least I can do is my own laundry.” He said, shuffling through his basket. Barclay hazarded a look down and smiled.

“More t-shirts than I thought,” He said, before shutting his mouth. That wasn’t rude, was it?

“Oh, I like to sleep in them. A-” He paused to laugh, before digging with purpose. “A lot of my friends give me paranormal things as gag gifts. First I was offended, but at this point, you’ve got to unwind a little right? Here- this one’s my favorite.” He said with the brightest smile Barclay had ever seen on him. He stood, and uncrumpled an orange shirt with the text ‘ _ I’m not single I just can’t get a good photo of my boyfriend’  _ with an unmistakable mock-up of a bigfoot spotting photo.

Very many emotions surged through Barclay at first, he could barely suppress the blush crawling across his cheeks and his widening eyes, but Stern took it all in stride. 

“It’s hideous- I love it.” He turned without more than a glance and tossed it into the washer. 

And Barclay, genius that he was, only  _ then _ burst into laughter. Stern followed suit, first out of surprise before it fell into actual glee. “Did it take you that long to get it?” He wheezed.

“Yeah I-” Barclay rubbed at his eyes, fighting against the fluttering in his chest. “It’s great and also hideous.”

“I know, I love stuff like that. People assume that since I’m working for the government I'm some monster, but the real monsters aren’t in my division. There  _ are _ monsters but they just write the checks. My boss is an asshole, I’m not in it because I’ve got some superiority complex, y’know?” Stern spoke as he finished filling the washing machine, Barclay distracted by his movements and the pure domesticity of everything going on. He grabbed the detergent and unscrewed the cap when Barclay realized he still hadn’t started his load. 

He grabbed the box of dryer sheets and dropped on in, the water that started pouring into the washer bringing a kind of ambient music. It felt homey, nice and simple. In that moment Barclay could believe that nobody was hiding anything, that Stern- Joseph his brain corrected- Joseph was just a normal dude passing through. That there weren't thousands of lives on the line if he found about about one of their many secrets. 

Barclay could spend this time with him, spitting jokes and doing laundry, pretending everything was fine. And even when they started their machines and meandered to the kitchen, Joseph sat and ribbed Aubrey when she passed by. He tousled his hair and drank his coffee with a shot of hot sauce because Jake dared him too. 

And as lady luck would have it, they had to be in the laundry room at the same time to get their stuff out of the machines. 

“You said you liked paranormal shows?” Stern asked, watching as Barclay unloaded his stuff from the dryer into his laundry bag. 

“Yeah, half the time cause the effects are hell-” Barclay smiled and hefted the sack up onto one shoulder, turning to his friend. “But I like to think there’s more out there, y’know? Maybe there are aliens, and they’re good people.”

“The world could always use more good people.” Stern’s voice was quiet and far off, and Barclay again felt that blush threaten his cheeks. “You’re a good guy Barclay, thank you for that.”

“What, you don’t got anybody else to watch X-files with?”

“Oh god no, I used to loop it when I was a kid, as soon as I finished it I’d start it again.” Stern laughed, fighting against the toploader to reach in and grab his wet laundry. His voice echoed gently against the metal of the washer, and Barclay smirked. 

“Here- let me-” Barclay put a hand on his back and Stern backed away, Barclay leaning down to grab a human sized fistful. “You were saying?”

“Thanks for being nice is all, I suppose.”

“Hell, we’re all people, don’t matter what we are any more than that.”

“Yes, I agree. It’s just been rather rough staying here when everyone assumes I’m armed and dangerous. Neither are especially true, unless everyone here is a blood sucking threat to human life.”

“Only some of us are.” Barclay laughed, thankful his face was buried in the washer reaching for some of the clothes. 

Stern laughed next, and continued. “I, I absolutely get it though. Some of the things I’ve seen police officers do- I’ve heard people say. It’s terrifying.”

“Then why are you working for them?” Barclay hummed, depositing another armful into the dryer.

“Family expectations, my father died in the war, and when I changed the marker on my license it was this or be drafted.” Stern spoke quietly. 

“Oh.” Barclay said. 

“Mhm. Apologies, that might have been too much.”

“No, no don’t worry. I’m ‘fluid, Jake’s a whole lotta things at once and he can never settle on a label and that’s fine too- Not my business to out any of the other residents but really- we’re not bad people.”

“No, I know you’re not. And Barclay?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“Already told me that, guess you agent types must not be as smart as they are in the movies.” Barclay closed the lid on the dryer and Stern stepped forward. 

“Would you be interested in watching some X-Files with me? I can’t get decent reception but I did bring my box set-”

“Wow-”

“Oh shut up. I’d ask around but I don’t know if anybody else would willingly spend time with me.” Stern finished. 

“I’m sure I can get one or two more people if you’d want.” Barclay replied. 

“The more the merrier,” Stern said, hands stuffed in his pockets. “I’ll let you get back to your laundry, I think I’ve kept you long enough.”

“Take as much of my time as you need. Here to help in any way I can.” Barclay gave a nod, and hefted his laundry back onto one shoulder (Maybe he puffed his chest out a little when he caught Stern staring, so what). “See you around- Joseph.” 

“See you Barclay.”


	3. Holding Hands

Jake wasn’t nearly as stupid all of the Kepler natives seemed to think he was. Yeah, he wasn’t the brightest but he wasn’t completely brain dead. He could tell when a situation was dangerous, he could tell when someone was upset and what flavor of upset it was (just because he didn’t understand why people liked eye contact so much that didn’t mean he was totally lost on small talk).

He knew all kinds of facts about extreme sports, that also meant he had a handy grasp on first aid- he knew that Dani liked sour apple flavors the most, he knew Barclay refused to use lemon scented dish soap, he knew Mama was a lot softer than she tried to appear. He didn’t know much about Thacker, but the man made good jokes and talked about his kids despite him being gay and single so that meant he had to be a good person. Jake even set Keith’s arm after he broke it, and he gave Hollis blackberry chapstick they still wore in the winter! He knew a lot about people and he knew the most about his sports- and he knew how to take care of himself. He knew whenever he got overwhelmed, or scared, or sad, that all he needed to do was hold somebody’s hand. 

He was walking through Kepler proper with Dani one spring day as they took a well deserved break after their weed patrol in the lodge’s garden. And Dani pointed out some of the wildflowers that patched up through the cement sidewalk. She told him about the different kinds of trees and told him the difference between the needle trees and leaf trees, about what animals preferred which. He tried to remember everything he could as they walked, rocking side to side and looking up at Dani’s hair, the way the blonde caught the sun and her dark rooks grounded the sunshine to her scalp-

He wasn’t paying attention until his sneaker caught on a root and Dani’s quick thinking caught him by the hand. She helped him back to his feet and Jake held onto her hand. She swung their hands together like they did sometimes on their walks around Amnesty. But this time it wasn’t an emotional thing, it was just a hand hug. They were just close, tied together and walking side by side as Dani kept talking about the plants and Jake kept listening. It felt more real from then on, because Dani was right there! He didn’t have to worry about getting lost (physically or in the conversation) because Dani was physically holding him. He squeezed her hand every once in a while, excitement about seeing a bird and she never once pulled away or called him immature. Her hand was warm, either from their time in the sun or from her sylph form it didn’t matter. The hair on her fingers was bristly when Jake ran a thumb over them, she had a little callous on the side of her index finger from holding her art pencils, her nails were trimmed neatly with cracked green polish that matched her favorite beanie. It was undeniably Dani in a million little ways and Jake felt right at home. 

When it came to crowds, Jake wasn’t the best. He could handle to a certain point, or if it was in a spot he knew and felt safe in. Like when people showed up at the slopes to check some sick stunts he could show off because he was in his element. But the grocery store proved a new challenge. The first time Jake had gone grocery shopping it was with Barclay alone and the man seemed optimistic (Jake was anxious, but that was his problem).

They took Mama’s truck down to Leo’s general store on the lower side and Jake tried to remember the directions but it turned out to be a straight shot until turning onto the highway, then straight away again. 

They unloaded, Barclay with his receipt for the monthly order and Jake with the impromptu list, like mug cake mixes, dryer sheets, and salt. It was easy, he could do it. Barclay got the door for him, and whistled. “A bit busy, I’m gonna get in line to talk to Leo. You go ahead.” 

Jake looked up and adjusted his goggles, before drawing them down from his forehead to cover his eyes. The store thrummed with noise, what looked like the entirety of Kepler in the small building at once. Accompanied by the tinny music playing and the conversations that fought to be heard over one another, Jake kept his lips screwed shut and his head down. His skin crawled with activity, somebody bumped into him and he nearly seized, his hands were tingling and his footsteps were thunderous in his ears. Everyone was watching him, everyone knew he wasn't’ human everyone was staring, laughing- 

His hand closed around a box of mix and he froze as the door to the store opened again and yelling started. He couldn’t tell what it was, happy or angry- but that was the cherry. It was loud and other people in the store talked louder to the person or to be heard over them and Jake took the mix. He grabbed the salt and the dryer sheets and meekly pushed his way through the people until he saw Barclay’s head blissfully taller than all of the humans in the store. Jake skittered up to his side and stood as close as he could, sick of all of the touching, the bumping, the tripping. Barclay hardly seemed bothered by the store or by Jake’s action, he looked down at him and blinked. 

“Are you okay?” He spoke, leaning his head down. 

Jake shook his head.

“Do you need to wait outside while I do this?”

Jake shook his head. He wasn’t a kid- he wasn’t a stupid little baby-

“Here.” Barclay spoke, swapping the hand he was holding the receipt in. He reached his hand out, palm up. Jake’s eyes widened behind his goggles and he snatched up Barlcay’s hand as quick as he could. His hand was bigger than Dani’s and rougher, the hair on his fingers was thicker and coarser, he had little burns and cuts dotting his skin Jake could trace, his nails were chewed up nearly into his fingers and the hemp cord of his bracelet hung down long enough for Jake to see it sway. 

Leo talked to Barclay for a few minutes, before disappearing to a back room and wheeling out a trolley loaded with groceries and goods. Barclay took care of the adult stuff and paid, Jake slid his purchase up and Barclay bought that stuff too. As a matter of fact, Barclay handed the bag back to Jake and got a hand on the trolley, never once making Jake let go of his other hand. Somebody was coming in as they were leaving, even when they rolled up to the rear of the truck Barclay undid the straps and slid all of the crates and bags into the bed with one hand. 

“I’m gonna have to return this and then drive, will you be okay?”

“Yeah.” Jake mumbled, letting go of his friend's hand. “ ‘ll be… car.” He mumbled, gesturing vaguely to the front.

“Hold on, can I hug you?” Barclay dipped his head down and Jake looked up before nodding. Barclay’s arms were big and strong, his body was soft and sturdy- his flannel was old and soft so of course Jake pressed his face against it. His arms went up around Barclay’s sides and Barclay hummed deep in his chest, a low rumble. It felt good, it felt safe.

Jake climbed into the truck and pulled his goggles back up onto his head. The ride back to the lodge wasn’t bad, they hummed along some long forgotten tune and Jake tapped his fingers on the dashboard to simulate drums. 

Jake knew about the abominations, and he was happy to stay at the lodge far out of the way. Stay away from the gate- sometimes he’d even purposely crash at the Hornet’s Nest overnight, it was never a problem since a few of the hornets couldn’t spend time with their families (Hollis was adamant that blood of the covenant was thicker than the water of the womb, whatever that meant in normal person words-). So the first time he came face to face with one of the beasts, of course he froze. He couldn’t fight- he couldn’t run- it was a dark summer night and his goggles were still on- the only reason he could even see the monster was because it appeared to be some kind of giant snake, maybe a dozen feet long and covered in iridescent shimmering scales. 

“Jake! Jake!” Somebody yelled, closer to the gate if he had to guess. He should never have come out here. He should never have tried to be like Mama or Barclay, he really was just a kid. And now he was going to die like one, standing with his legs locked and hands shaking. 

The yelling got closer, the snake hissing and approaching, Jake still frozen, goggles fogging with his sweat. When Mama burst through the tree line shotgun brandished Jake barely had a moment to hear what she said, much less comprehend it.

“You stay the hell away  _ from my son! _ ” She roared, pulling the trigger and blasting the snake in the side with buckshot. It recoiled with an ear splitting shriek and dove forward. “Jake!”

He heard it, distantly almost like he heard it through water or on the other side of a long hallway, and then he was on the forest floor. His head bounced off of something and he couldn’t breathe- then he was lifted, he was rolled and twirled until he realized he wasn’t being lifted to be eaten, he was being constricted. He felt something pop in his back like a knot being pulled apart and he couldn’t get a breath in- he couldn’t do anything, paralyzed and frozen.

There was more yelling but his vision was blurring, the snake was writhing around him and his goggles were starting to fill with sweat and tears, his neck felt like it was bulging and his feet were numb.

And then, the pressure eased like a balloon popping, everything stopping all at once making his body take a sharp reverse as he fell down along the body of the snake. His head was pounding, his limbs numb and tingling- he still couldn’t breathe. 

He blinked his eyes open and his goggles were gone, his body laid down on some pile of moss. Mama was kneeling above him, taking deep exaggerated breaths that he tried to mimic. It caught his chest wrong at first, he sputtered and panicked until Mama pressed his goggles into one of his hands. He clenched his fingers around the familiar plastic and fought to breathe. 

“Jake, can you hear me baby?” Her voice didn’t match up with her lips but Jake huffed some kind of affirmative. 

“You’re gonna be okay- stay with me- stay awake.”

“Can’t breathe-” He forced out all at once, feeling returning to his limbs. 

“Slow down deep breaths,”

“Can’t-”

“Hold his-!” Barclay yelled from somewhere else. 

“You want me to hold you?” Mama reached for one of his shoulders and Jake seized- being constricted- being unable to move- not being able to breathe- trapped- dying- 

A warm solid weight wrapped around his free hand, then another over the back of his hand. He nodded, tears welling in his eyes and paracord bracelet digging into his skin. 

“It’s gonna be okay, it’s gonna be okay.” Mama spoke quietly, she said it again and again. Her hands were solid and firm but not constricting. Jake could part the waves if he needed too, but as he fought to calm down and ease the adrenaline coursing through his body he didn’t want to. He closed his eyes and squeezed her hand, it was Mama. Mama is right. Listen to Mama. 

“It’s gonna be okay.” She said. Jake believed her.

Barclay approached after a few minutes, rancid with blood and dropping Dani’s least favorite wood cutting axe to the forest floor. 

“How you doing Jake?”

“Okay.” He mumbled. 

“Can you walk?”

“Don’t think so.” He mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

“Think you learned your lesson.” Mama rubbed the back of his hand a few times before patting it. “You gonna be okay if Barclay carries you back?”

“Yeah.” He murmured. Barclay knelt and Mama helped Jake climb up on his back, he threaded his arms over Barclay’s shoulders and locked his hands together. 

“I’ve got you.” Barclay said, briefly spitting on the ground before locking his arms around Jake’s knees. 

“I’ll believe that when I get to hold your hand back home.” Jack mumbled into Barclay’s hair, careful to avoid the sticks and twigs peppering it. 

“You can hold my hand all day tomorrow, and when I have to cook I’ll ask Dani to tag in for me. How’s that sound?”

“Really good.” Jake’s voice broke, “It sounds really good.”

“We’ve got you Jake, just stay awake a little longer and then we’ll take good care of you.” Mama chimed in next. 

“Okay Mama.”


	4. Support and Affirmation

When she arrived, she had a different name, a different face. As was the work for bigfoot, any disguise was fleeting, any name was a badge to be torn and lost in a few months. Mama could tell, the way she held herself, sidelong glances at every half reflective surface. 

“Hon, you need to change your look?” Mama asked, sat on the lodge kitchen peeling an apple with her pocket knife. She could tell the new visitor flinched, but Mama didn’t look up. Ten years helping Sylphs taught her a few things, last thing she wanted to do was scare them off and regret it. 

“I- uh.” She mumbled. 

“Got a pretty skilled enchanter over here, two if you count the lonesome fuck we’ve got tabs on as he travels.” Mama spoke slow and low, she grabbed the finished long apple peel and placed one end between her teeth to slowly eat. The summer wind rolled in through the open back door as Mama sliced into the apple flesh, carving a pretty decent chunk out of it, stabbing it and extending it to her. The Sylph nodded weakly, and stepped forward to pluck the fruit and bite into it. 

Mama didn’t ask when they came back down the stairs looking nothing like the prior disguise. She didn’t need to, it wasn’t any of her business. Asian, cropped dark hair, earth toned work clothes.

“Name?” She asked instead, hopping down from the counter. They nodded weakly, Vanessa the enchanter trundling down the stairs next to clasp a hand on their shoulder. 

“They like Clayton.” She said, Clayton themselves nodding. 

“Alright Clayton, if you’re gonna stay here at the lodge you’re gonna have to do some of the work too. You know how to fight?”

“I’m not bad.” They replied.

“Kicked me in the stomach when they saw their reflection.” Vanessa smiled, rubbing their shoulder and stepping across the main room towards the kitchen. Mama blinked, turning half over her shoulder as Vanessa passed by.

“Oh?”

Vanessa hummed from the kitchen and Mama smiled. “Might leave a bruise.”

Mama’s eyes widened at that, “Damn kid, don’t be so modest.”

“You’re human,” They smiled back, stepping forward, “I’m probably older than you.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to get used to callin’ me Mama so get used to it kid.” She smiled brighter now, extending a hand for Clayton to step forward and take. They shook hands and Mama pulled them into a hug. Clayton returned the gesture making the human woman huff a laugh. 

“_ Christ _, y’got that right Ness.” Mama called, earning another hum in reply. 

Clayton hung around for a while, sometimes they took a little break and somebody else appeared but it was never really confusing. Mama got a hang on the preferred forms, the names, the pronouns, it was rather easy all things considered. What wasn’t easy, was waking up to the fire alarm going off for the third time in just as many days. Mama pulled her hair up, tucked her oversized sleep shirt into a pair of sweatpants she pulled on- and trundled out of her office room towards the kitchen. A few of the other sylphs stuck their heads out of their doors but she waved them back to bed. Any time before five nobody should be awake anyway. 

She yawned as she neared the kitchen, at least there was no smoke billowing over the open countertop. She slid onto one of the stools, laughing into her hand as Grace stood in the center of the room flapping a towel wildly towards the smoke detector in the center of the room. 

“At least nothin’s on fire this time.” Mama spoke sleepily, laughing as Grace jumped. 

“One time,” She grumbled. “Sorry for wakin’ you.” She replied, “Trying to get better about my cooking.”

“Hey, at this point we’ve stopped panicking so I think that’s progress.” Mama yawned, stretching back in her seat. “Can you make coffee without burning it?”

“Yeah, I’ll get right on it.” She said back, tucking a long curl behind her ear. “Still need to do target practice today? You’re up early, might make it dangerous.”

“Don’t sleep well anymore,” Mama replied watching as her friend got to work brewing her drink. “Time will tell if that’ll get any better. Gotta keep my aim good.”

Grace hummed, grabbing a mug from a cabinet. “How long has this gate been active?” She asked, looking down at the blue ceramic in her hands.

“Nine years. I’ve been interactin’ with y’all about ten.” She said back. 

“Hell, you’ve been doin’ this for what, half your life?”

“Flatterer.” Mama snorted. “No, I’m thirty one. Started a bit after I finished Kepler U here.” She looked down at the countertop, traced her fingers along the wood grain. 

“Didn’t you have-” Grace paused as the coffee machine buzzed to life. “Didn’t you have a dream? A goal in life?”

Mama could hear the wonder in her voice, the fear, the confusion. She shrugged, pressing her head into her free hand. “Yeah, but art can be made anywhere.”

“You’re an artist then.”

“Yeah. Don’t draw much anymore but I carve sculptures.”

Grace hummed. 

“Other than that, bought this plot of land and I think this is rewarding in it’s own way. Helpin’ people.”

“And fighting the monsters?” Grace asked. 

“Hell, Ness tell you about that?”

“Asked about some of her scars, she told me. Aren’t-” Grace paused. “Aren’t you afraid?”

“Of what, death?” Mama looked up at her companion, Grace herself staring down at the counter. She saw the sylph’s hands shaking around the coffee mug. “I guess, but I still gotta pay this place off and the last thing I need is Vanessa doing taxes in my name, ruin what little reputation I had left around this place.”

“Taxes?”

“Shit, wasted a perfectly good joke,” Mama threw an arm up and Grace managed to laugh at that, she looked up with eyes shining. The coffee machine spoke next, a humming little tune that made Mama yawn again. “Alright, gimme gimme.” She mumbled. 

“Think it just made you more sleepy.” Grace smiled, pouring the mug and adding a travel container of creamer. 

“Pavlov ‘r what’s his name.” Mama mumbled, taking the hot mug and inhaling a deep breath. “Hey.” She didn’t look up from her drink, but continued. “We’ll be okay.”

“Right.”

Ash was the one to first go on a hunt with Mama and Vanessa, a new visitor named Moira watched over the lodge while they walked through the thick forest. The sun was setting soon, and they all needed to be at the gate before then. Ash took the back, Mama in the lead. No one really spoke as they travelled, but they didn’t need to. Mama kept her gun at her side, Vanessa her fists drawn tight. 

They stood in the clearing as the final bleeding sunlight finally disappeared.

"Do we know what it is?" They asked quietly. 

"Any luck, somethin weak to bullets." Vanessa said, looked over at them and smiling as her accent made Ash chuckle.

"Eyes open." Mama spoke. 

"Eyes are open." Vanessa spoke back. Mama hummed under her breath, shuffling around in her bag and pulling out a flashlight. 

"Pass it on." She threw it to Vanessa who tossed it to Ash, until three beams of light pointed into the gate. 

"So all we can do is wait and watch?" 

"Usually. Until we can get somebody either from the other side, or somebody smarter 'n me." Mama called back. "Here, circle around." Her cohorts followed her call, Mama with an ear to the ground and adrenaline in her veins stood, staring down the gate. Close to two hours later something finally came through, Mama quick to get a shot off and Vanessa following, pelting the bird looking monstrosity with the flashlight hard enough Mama could hear the metal dent on the creatures face. 

Ash, bless their heart followed Vanessa and managed to distract it long enough for Mama to unload a few more rounds of buckshot into it. And it fell to the ground with a dying wheeze, one Vanessa was quick to end with a well placed boot. 

“That wasn’t that bad.”

“Guess Sylvain’s goin’ easy on you kid.” Vanessa looked over one of her shoulders, and Ash paled. 

“I can do it.” They said, voice brave and fists clenched around their flashlight. “I can- Let me help.”

“‘F’course, can’t exactly let you go traipsin’ round the states make more sightings.” Mama knocked the brim of her hat up, and flashed them a smile. “Only gonna get worse from here on out.”

“Good.”

Clayton, Brian, Grace, Ash and Layla all disappeared one morning, a new broad figure standing in the kitchen close to two years after they first appeared in the lodge. 

“Morning.” Mama yawned, throwing her arms up and stretching. 

“Morning,” This new person called over their shoulder, and Mama paused. 

Certainly different- long auburn hair tied up in a bun, broad shoulders and wide torso, voice that rumbled like thunder on a hot summer night. She sniffed the air and could barely hold back her watering mouth. “Smells fantastic.” She slid up onto one of the stools and they laughed, before turning around skillet in hand. 

“Thanks, only took two years.” They brought the sizzling meal over, lifting sausage links from the metal and then flipping an omelet out of the pan next. Deft hands pulled out some kinda separator, ran the skillet under the sink, set it back, wiped off on their towel, they moved around the kitchen like they belonged there.

“So, this is a new one.” Mama gestured to them, and they looked down.

“Been workin’ on it for a while. Uh, think I’m stickin’ with he.”

“Alright, that works.” Mama stabbed a sausage link and brought it up to her mouth. Before she could bite, she pointed at him with it. “Got a mix.” 

“Yeah,” He replied. “Liked the hair,” he ran his hands over the back of his forearms where bristly arm hair grew. “The beard, the eyes, kinda shoved all my favorite parts together.” He finishes, stuffing hands in his jean pockets. 

“Look good.”

“Feel good. Ness got me fixed all right up.” He smiled, leaning forward on the counter as Mama bit into her sausage. 

“Alright, so this vessel of your godly cooking skill-”

“Bite me.”

“You found a name?”

He hummed, eyes down on the countertop wood grain. “Thinkin’ Barclay.”

“Sounds good,” Mama set her fork down and extended a hand like she had done four times before, and she may do in the future. It was always worth it. “Nice to meet you Barclay.”

“Nice to meet you Mama.” He smiled, shaking her hand. “Think this one’s gonna stick around a while.”

“Does, great. Doesn’t, great. I’ve only got you here for the food and the bigfoot beef.” She said, huffing a laugh as Barclay burst into his own peal of laughter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a comment ive done all of this in one day and im only human


	5. Sick Days

Dani woke up to a cough. Normally it’d be surprising, she went to bed a little icky but by no means sick. But as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and contemplated sitting up, her head already protested the thought. And she wasn’t surprised because the next cough (a wet one that vibrated something in her throat) was one she heard before. One she heard in Jake’s voice. She wasn’t really surprised when the cold seemed to take root in her, but it still sucked nonetheless. Pushing back her warm blankets she shivered just briefly before pulling on a fuzzy pair of socks and standing upright. A stretch here for her stiff back, a few squares of toilet paper to blow her nose, she was traipsing slowly down the hall after a while already hearing a chorus of coughing from the main area. 

Her voice protested as she rounded the corner into the well of Amnesty grumbling a greeting. She rubbed her eye again and didn’t even bother attempting to finger comb her hair before sliding onto one of the bar stools and collapsing dramatically onto the wood counter. 

“Got you too, huh?” Barclay called from the kitchen, his voice distinctly sick twinged too. 

“We like Jake too much.” Dani grumbled back. 

“Hey!” He yelled from the couch near the fireplace, the gentle cracking and sizzling at least a welcome noise in the dark autumn morning. 

“No need to bully the boy.” Moira sang from her seat at the piano, a smile still on her spectral face. 

“Have I mentioned in the past few minutes I’m jealous ‘a you Moira?” Barclay called, before heaving a nasty sounding cough. Dani looked up at that, Barclay slowly walking around the kitchen, half of his normal speed and grace. The top of his hair was back in a messy messy ponytail, ratty and knotted like he slept in it for a few days. No flannel and nice jeans, instead a tee Dani had a feeling was older than her, and sweatpants way too short lengthwise. But most tellingly he mumbled through one of those quarantine masks, or the ones Dani saw on some of the Jeopardy video clips in polluted areas. 

“You have, but I do like the envy.” Moira called back, the piano trilling a quiet high tune of teasing. 

Barclay hummed a reply, deep and gravelly as he poked around a pot on the stove. “How you doin’ Dani?”

She raised a finger, before letting her head drop back down onto her folded arm. “Ugh.”

“Yeah, seems like most everyone caught something. Guess since we spend the most time with Jake we got it worst.”

“Everyone?” Dani grumbled.

“Mags and Yao haven’t shown up but I have a feeling they’re sleepin’ it off. Ain’t seen Mama either, y’know what that means.” He said, before dropping a ladle in the pot. Then he grabbed a stack of bowls, and started plating what Dani could assume was soup, despite her nose refusing to work in the slightest.

“How you doing Barclay? I can barely move.” Dani called, snorting and running her hand under her nose. 

“Not great but been worse, catch some nasty stuff wandering around here with no immunities.” He said back, walking over and setting a steaming bowl in front of her. She eyed it and Barclay quickly returned with a glass of water. “Drink your fluids. Then go sit with Jake by the fire, moisture makes it worse.” 

“Jesus  _ Dad _ ,” Dani whined.

“Danielle you treat your-” Barclay lifted a hand to scold her, before he was cut off by a raging wet cough of his own. He thumped a hand against his chest and leaned over the counter, Dani sitting up to put a hand on his arm. 

“Hey- how about you go sit with Jake, huh?” Dani rubbed his arm. “I’ll check on Mama.”

“You just-” He coughed again, the mask flying off his face in little intervals that Dani could find funny later. 

“I got it. Get some soup to you two.” Dani pushed the bowl towards him and stood, bracing herself just briefly on the counter before turning down the opposite hall. 

The door to Mama’s office was cracked just slightly, and Dani pushed it open.  Mama was asleep, snoring face down on her desk. Her hat and coat were hung up, her papers and tools away from her on the desk, and most noticeably a soft green blanket was draped over her shoulders. Dani pulled the door closed gently, and stopped by her room to pull on a hoodie she nicked from a gone-away sylph a few months ago, and some slides. Then she walked back through the lodge, checking on Barclay and Jake both happily slurping their soup on the couches, enjoying the warmth of the fire. 

“Be back.” Dani mumbled, pulling open the front door of the lodge. She shivered against the autumn breeze. It was October, not nearly as cold as it was going to get, but she still hated it as she stepped down the porch steps, turning around to the stairs leading to the pine guard hq underneath. She knocked on the door, to no response. 

“Thacker! I know you’re in there!”

There was some shuffling, and then a familiar hideous set of sideburns poked through the doorway. Thacker looked up at her, one eyebrow cocked.

“We’re all sick, need you upstairs-” Dani ran her sleeve under her nose. “Mama too, though you know that one.”

“Alright- gimme like- ten minutes.” Thacker already started closing the door and Dani raised a hand to point at him before another shiver racked her and she stumbled forward. Thacker at that point at least moved more out and attempted to catch her, letting her lean against his front. “Fuckin’- you kids can’t even take care’a yourselves. Come on li’l lady.” He stepped her backwards up the stairs, hands on her biceps.

Thacker walked Dani back up to the lodge den, he set her down on the couch opposite Jake. 

"Barclay- expected better of you." He tutted. 

Barclay groaned in response and Thacker chuckled. 

"Alright. If you already cooked, I can get you bowls." Thacker called, disappearing into the kitchen and reappearing a few moments later with a bowl of soup for Dani (which she gently took with a deep inhale). Then taking Barclay and Jake's empty bowls to refill. 

"Swear y'all act more like kids than the real kids, Divine Junior woul' never." He mumbled to himself, walking down the hallway back again towards the utility closet. He wheeled the TV cart out, fighting with the cable for a few moments before plugging it in and wheeling it a little out of the way of the fireplace. 

"Je- puh-" Jake breathed, a hand waved weakly in the air. 

"Jeopardy." Thacker echoed back. "Not gonna sit up here and watch with you but if somebody yells I'll keep y'all from dyin'."

"G'check on Mama." Dani mumbled, taking a spoonful of soup and relaxing into the couch.

"Yeah yeah, she's my priority here god forbid she up'n dies 'n leaves me in a necka debt." He grumbled, waving a hand as he disappeared down the hall towards Mama's office. 

Alex Trebek talked on the TV screen, Barclay already asleep when the first column was cleared. "Hot sauce." Jake mumbled. 

"The answer is about countries." Dani laughed weakly. 

"Mmm." 

"I'm from hot sauce." Dani mumbled, setting her nearly empty bowl on the floor, shivering into her hoodie. "I speak spicy." 

" 'm fluent in spicy." Jake murmured back.

"Yeah? With who?" 

"Hollis. They speak spicy too. 'N Keith, 'n Abbie, 'n-" He coughed into his shoulder and hummed some kind of nonsense. 

"Yeah. Spicy." 

Dani woke up from an unexpected nap, eyes caked shut and throat nearly sealed shut. She sat up slowly, pushing back a blanket from her torso. Squinting around the den was dim, dying light of the fire casting warm shadows and the TV shining blue in a small semicircle. 

Jake was curled up around a pillow where he was when Dani last checked, Barclay on the loveseat but nestled upright and laying his head (leaning with most of his big body) on Mama, also curled with her legs over Barclay's. Her head rested on his, her hair a big dark brown mess that blended into Barclay's thanks to the low lighting. 

"Somebody awake?" A voice called. 

"Yeah." Dani replied. 

"Here's some Nyquil, then go back to sleep kid." A hand appeared, Dani cupping her own to get two little green pills which she popped into her mouth. A water bottle was placed in her hands next, which she twisted open and nearly drained. "Locked the place down, no mundies in here." Thacker said. 

Dani hummed as happily as she could, fiddling around to grab her hand and twist the gold ring off of her middle finger, leaving it on her stomach. Thacker grumbled something as he snatched it up, a small metal clink following as he set it down on the coffee table. Dani took a few deep breaths, familiar warmth seeping down deep into her bones. Her eyes spread that warmth back into her skull, calming the headache. Her fingers, elongated and slender allowed more blood to flow, her jaw sharpened and pulled let her sharp teeth emerge and her tongue settle nicely. 

“... -night light.” Thacker mumbled, before his heavy footsteps leading back towards Mama’s office sounded in the lodge.

Alex Trebek continued talking, Barclay was starting to snore again, and Jake wiggled himself on the couch to lay on Dani’s extended legs. It felt nice, and she was pretty sure he wanted some warmth too. She had enough to share. She laid herself back down, letting the familiar sounds of her family close by lull her into a deep and necessary sleep.


	6. Doing Dishes

Jake sat at the kitchen counter, fiddling with his goggles and tapping his fingers on the wood.

“You okay Jake?” Barclay hummed, looking up from his work scrubbing out one of the deep glass casserole dishes. 

“I uh-” He stilled his fingers before putting the goggles back on his head, dragging them down over his eyes. His long bangs scattered into his eyes and he tried to wipe them away, rubbing fruitlessly at the plastic goggles. 

Barclay laughed gently, nodding. “You want a distraction? I need somebody to dry these before they get soap spots.” Barclay wiped at his forehead with his forearm, dripping soapy water down the front of his shirt. “Shit.”

Jake laughed at that though, he pushed off his stool and made his way around the counter, pushing open the kitchen door. “Only if I get to sit on the counter.”

“Stick it to the old people.” Barclay nodded, careful to keep his eyes on the sink as Jake slid on top of the counter and grabbed the towel from his shoulder. 

“Thanks.” He said quietly, lifting some of the half dried cups from the rack, running the towel around them. A quick circle around, a hand down in the middle, set it down, grab the next. It was simple work, Jake made a little game of trying to guess which cup was which because his goggles made everything appear discolored. 

“Somethin’ on your mind?” Barclay asked, hands still gripping the slippery pan.

“I uh, I guess.” Jake shrugged in response, suddenly finding the cup in his hands very interesting. 

“If you need a human perspective Mike’s here, Mama told him off for skipping his college classes to brainstorm pine guard stuff.” Barclay smiled softly sos pad still attacking the dish. 

“Humans,” Jake mumbled back. “They’re already-  _ squishy _ . Why do they wanna do dangerous things?”

“This about the Hornets? Hollis?” 

“I- yeah.” His voice was quiet, fingers putting prints and smudges on the clean glass. He threw the towel over one of his shoulders like Barclay did, and stared down at it. 

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really but I- I think I should. Hollis wants us to step up our cool stunts.” 

“Shouldn’t that be exciting? You guys love that stuff.”

“It would be- but-” Jake shook his head aggressively before huffing. “No, it’s dangerous. Hollis talked Keith and Abbie into getting motorbikes too. They want everyone to start doing high speed bike stuff, ramps and- over asphalt! Some people have already started, one ended up in Saint Francis.” Jake mumbled. 

“Jesus,” Barclay hissed. 

“Yeah. I- I don’t want to Barclay.” Jake deflated, setting the cup down and tangling his fingers together on his lap. He shook his hands, wiggling his fingers together and around messily. “I love them all but…”

“You’re afraid.” Barclay nodded. “That’s something scary, you’re allowed to be afraid.”

“But I’m sturdier! I’m not a squishy, maybe I could talk them down or change their minds or-”

“It’s not your job Jake. They’re allowed to make their own decisions.”

“I don’t want anybody to get hurt, not Abbie, not Keith, not Hollis. I love snowboarding but I don’t love injuries.”

“And you get scared over big talks like that, if they want to go that extra step then it’s their choice. Just know if they pressure you into staying or doing anything, we’re gonna put the fear a’ Mama in ‘em.”

Jake giggled weakly, setting the cup down and grabbing another, flipping the towel down. “Not god?”

“I think Mama’s scarier.” Barclay reached up and turned off the water, shaking the dish carefully. “Ready for this one?”

“Oh- yeah!” Jake hurriedly swabbed down the cup, opening the towel in his hands to take the glass pan. He wiped around the lip first so he wouldn’t drop it, then started on the flat inside. 

“You know what you’re gonna do?”

“I guess I’m gonna stop hangin’ out with them.” Jake said quietly, looking down at the pan, catching the reflection of his goggles warped in the glass. 

“You don’t have to cut ‘em out right away, but tell them how it makes you feel.” Barclay put the water back on and grabbed a fistfull the silverware at the bottom of the sink. “And if they don’t take into account how it’s makin’ you feel, then tell them you’re through.”

“It’s big.” Jake finished the pan, setting it on the counter next to him. “It’s just big.”

“It is, and it’s scary. But you need to tell them before something really bad happens and you don’t get the chance.” Barclay’s voice was rough, not like gravel but heavy with loss. Jake nodded and picked up a bowl. 

“Right.”

“But no matter what happens at least you’re famous on vine still.” Barclay smiled, turning off the water and setting down the final wet bowl.

“I watch the one whenever I feel sad.”

“Cause it’s everyone in the lodge screamin over you?”

“It makes me happy!”

Barclay nodded, wiping his hands on his jeans. “You’re our boy, so take care of yourself before I have to fistfight a buncha greasers.”

“Don’t fistfight the hornets.”

“I won’t have to as long as you talk to them. Otherwise, I’ve got two fists.”

“More like claws on the end of tree trunks.” Jake bunched up the towel, pelting Barclay in the face with it before jumping down off the countertop. Barclay lifted it from his hair and patted his braid to keep it in place, before throwing it into the sink.

“You want a  _ hug _ ?” Barclay sing-songed, holding his hands up menacingly. “Nice and  _ strong _ .”

“ _ Dani _ !” Jake yelled, followed by a scream of laughter as Barclay rushed towards him. They both ran out of the kitchen, Jake already forgetting his woes and Barclay happy to have helped.


	7. Comfort After Emotional Injury

Jake knew the day was coming, he knew. He should have been ready for the aftermath, but instead he was only ready for the face off. 

He kept hearing their voice, the look of first disbelief and childish ignorance that changed to rage. His hands were shaking as he walked up the winding path back to the lodge, his goggles steaming with his hot tears. It was summer. He was supposed to be hanging out with the Hornets from sunrise to sunset, spending nights at the hideout to avoid the abominations, laughing and not having to worry about pretending to be normal. But here he was, a raging coward who couldn’t even look his best friends in the eyes as he said he couldn’t do their life threatening stunts anymore. 

The summer morning air was too thick to breathe comfortably, he sucked in breath after breath but each and every time he choked. On the breath, on a sob, on the realization he wouldn’t have friends, on his own hate and confusion- 

By the time Jake reached the top of the path, the lodge finally in his view he was full on crying. He couldn’t control it, he started off just sad but the sadness had grown inside him, festering and infecting his memories, his movements, everything burned as he walked. It felt wrong and unfair and when he pulled the door to the lodge open, he kept shoving it all back into the box in his chest. Keep it together, keep it contained, don’t have a breakdown in the middle of the lodge-

He kept his head down, ignoring the causal greetings tossed his way by Mike and Yao. He stormed back to his room, pulling the door and locking it. Then in a sweet act of release Jake ripped off his goggles, throwing them as hard as he could against the adjacent wall. He unzipped his jacket, all but tearing it off as his fumbling fingers couldn’t catch the zipper properly. He pulled at his hair, shaking his whole upper body as he rushed through his room, collapsing on his messy bed. The cut off sobs were still escaping him, he writhed in his loose sheets as he tried to still his heart, hear anything over the static burning inside his head. He buried his face deep into one of his pillows, and cried. 

Jake didn’t exactly know when he fell asleep, but when he sat up, eyes crusty with dried tears and heart a slow tempo, he was glad he did. He leaned over his bed, grabbing his water bottle and popping the cap to drink from it. 

_ “Hydrate or die-drate.” Hollis called, tossing him their water bottle. He caught it, half a smile on his lips. _

_ “Gimme a slorp,” He called back, Abbie rushing forward to tip the water bottle up as he drank, covering his face in it.  _

_ “Slorp it up!” She laughed, and Hollis laughed, and he laughed. _

Jake stared down at the bottle in his hand, grip loose and fingers tingling. He wasn’t very thirsty anymore. 

Jake spent his time in his room, biding the embarrassment of telling the others. He was supposed to be the recon one, who had the information about the humans thanks to the hornets. (Deep down he knew this wasn’t true, Mama just wanted him to have normal friends like a normal kid, but he told himself he was helping the lodge so he wouldn’t let the guilt eat away at him). He was supposed to be a kid, go to parties and do sick stunts, but here he was. A coward who wouldn’t do a flip on a motorbike because he saw somebody else end up in Saint Francis. 

He was upset, but sixty billion different flavors. Disappointed his friends didn’t care about his feelings, scared for their safety, sad they reacted so poorly, confused as to why they wouldn’t listen. He buried himself in his blankets and held his head desperate to get his brain back together. 

He cried a lot, but at least he could flap and shake and wiggle all he needed. 

When there was a knock at the door Jake looked up, eyes catching the window to reveal the sun had already set fully. The person knocked again. 

“Go away!” He called, pulling a sheet over his head as he curled up. 

“I can’t do that, just talk t’me.” 

“Go  _ away _ Mama!” Jake yelled, hands tightening over his head. 

“Jake, I’m gonna come in.” 

Jake keened in his throat, rocking back and forth. He tensed as the door opened, he peeked through one eye to see light spill into the room through the now open doorway. Mama’s shadow was blocking some of it, but he snapped his eyes shut as she entered. 

“Jake, oh baby,” Mama breathed, stepping into the room fully. She wasn’t wearing her big clunky boots, her footsteps were quiet as she sat on the side of Jake’s bed. “Baby what’s wrong?”

Something about her voice, the sweet and true way she called him baby, she felt like home. Jake nodded, tears already brimming behind his eyes yet again. 

“It the hornets?” She asked quietly, Jake nodding and making another involuntary noise. 

“I-I-I- We- They didn’t-” A thousand different sentences started and ended in his head, he flinched bodily as Mama put a hand on his shoulder. He sat upright, pulling off his blanket and opening his eyes. Mama’s hair was down, she was in a tee and some ratty jeans, she didn’t say anything but opened her arms. 

Jake threw himself forward, arms scrambling around Mama’s torso to pull himself close to her. She let him, gentle hums of affirmation as she nodded into his hair, her hands rubbing up and down his back. 

“There y’go.” Mama’s voice was calm and quiet, she spoke soothingly. “Everything’s gonna be alright.”

“I lost ‘em Mama,” Jake got out, pulling at her shirt. “I lost them.”

“They lost you,” She replied, “You’re gonna be just fine without ‘em. I can promise you that. They didn’t deserve you.”

“It was so big and scary and it was better than I thought but worse too and- and-”

“It was big and scary, and you did the right thing Jake. You stayed safe, just like I wanted.”

“Hollis- I thought they would-”

Mama didn’t reply at that, she just held him a little tighter. “I’m sorry baby.”

Jake nodded into her, another uncontrollable noise as he finally really let go. Everything was going to be okay, because Mama was saying it. Mama was always right. When he could catch his breath again, he pulled away, eyes focused on the sheet being idly rubbed between his fingers. Mama didn’t make him look at her. 

“How’d you know?” Jake asked, scrubbing at his eyes with his free hand. 

“You missed jeopardy.” She said quietly. “There was an extreme sports category tonight.” She stood from the bed, and Jake gasped. 

“Of course there was- the one night,” 

He saw Mama bend down in the corner of his vision as she spoke. 

“We were all real surprised, but if you ask nicely I'm sure we can sit and rewatch with you. Only get  _ most _ of the questions right.” Mama returned to his bedside and sat back down. “Hungry?”

“Starving, but I-” Jake shook one of his hands. “People.” He said. 

“How’s about I bring some food up, huh? Barclay made stir fry.”

“Oh yum,” Jake said, his voice still hollow and meek.

“I’ll bring some up. Here.” Jake looked up slightly, recognizing the plastic in Mama’s extended hand. His goggles. He took it, Mama leaning forward as he did to place a kiss to his messied hair. “Be right back.”

Mama returned to his room with a wonderful smelling bowl and two glasses on one of the fancy trays, and Jake fixed his bed as best he could so she could set it down. She did, and smiled as Jake managed to look up at her. 

“Hey there,” Mama spoke, sitting. 

“Hey.” He said back. “Thanks for food.”

“Course,” Mama echoed, “Once in a blue moon I don’t mind.”

“Don’t have a lotta time to be a soft mom?” Jake pulled his goggles on and fixed his bangs so they weren’t trapped underneath. 

“I’m a mom,” She pressed a hand to her chest, “What’s my name?”

“Mama,”

“Mama.” She nodded, “Just also gotta fight some abominations.”

Jake nodded weakly. 

“How you feelin’?” 

“Better.”

“Good. Anything you need?”

“Not right now.” Jake twirled his fork in the plate before him, raising it to his mouth and chewing away. 

“Just gimme a holler, alright?”

“Right.”

Mama stood from the bed, hands on her knees as she stood and cracked her back. “Alright. Just remember, I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks Mama. Love you.”

“Love you too.” Mama was already halfway out the door as she relied, but it brought a smile to Jake’s face anyway.


End file.
